In the mean time we had celebrated my step son's Bar Mitzva, sent my step daughter for the second year in Israel and wasted our time and energy (again) in useless negotiations with my husband's ex-wife. Who are we? My husband and I, the author of this blog.
Was the happy biological mother involved in any of the activities mentioned above? Let's see. She felt that it would be inappropriate for her to participate in her son's Bar Mitzva celebrations. We ended up paying the tuition for the second year in Israel (the mommy paid her part from child support money - which came also from our pockets). And negotiations? Well... Physically she was there, I saw her. But, you tell me if anyone can enforce a signed agreement by the person who is not ready to let it go. So what if she signed?! Next day there are 5 "new" issues on the table that has to be resolved. And if we resolve these? She will find more... Same story again and again and again.
You know what our problem is - we are eternal optimists. We always see the best in other people and believe that they are going to be reasonable. We tend to forget that hate and vengeance will always override logic and reason.
Imagine this: this war is the only thing she lives for the last 6 years. She is addicted to this battle, like a gambler is addicted to his game. Despite how much she already had lost, she continues until she completely destroys herself and everything that is dear to her.
When first met my husband I could not comprehend his story. Why it takes so long to finish something so straight forward as a divorce? The realization came after I read in one of her recent papers to the Bais Din that she still calls him "my husband".
"WAKE UP!" I want to tell her, "HE GAVE YOU A GET 6 YEARS AGO. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO MAKE HIM HAPPY AND YOU BLEW IT. HE IS MINE NOW. BUT YOU STILL CANNOT LET HIM GO. YOU ARE DIVORCED, GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD!"
One day she will wake up in her bed alone, deserted by everyone who once cared for her and she will cry to G-d so hard that her lungs will blow up: "Please, please, G-d I beg you, give me back all these years that I have spent on this battle. I had my opportunity to find my true love and build a new family. But I was so obsessed with my ex-husband that I wasted my best years trying to destroy and degrade him. He moved on, and has a family and he is happy, and I have nothing to live for and nobody will care if I die tomorrow!"
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You madam, are a psychotic. You are without a doubt an undiagnosed case of clinical insanity. What could possibly prompt you to be so shockingly obsessed with your husbands ex-wife? The chances that you know anything about this woman are monumentally small, yet you take liberties that no sane, under control woman would take. You forget one part - there is his side, your side, and the truth. Have you bothered with any side but his? I think not. You are a disappointment to all woman, and I hope some day you wake up in that bed and realize the atrocities you are committing. G-d will punish you someday. Zai gezunt.
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