Sunday, August 30, 2009

Living with chronic disease

I stumbled upon a blog of a mom, a fighter, a surviver on She lives with cancer, fights it, does not complain, takes care of the kids and of the house and even has time to blog every day.

And I am reading it and thinking: here I am, sitting in front of my Mac, writing the blog about my war against my husband's ex. And it looks so insignificant in the comparison to what RivkA with capital A is going thorough.

Another thought comes to bother me. I am not ill, my husband is doing well too. Then why our life looks very much like dealing with chronic disease that does not want to go away and there is not treatment yet to be found?

Did I go insane, comparing a person, a living person, a Jew to a chronic disease? Is is really that bad? There is no physical pain, there is no question of how long we are going to survive and we are obviously not dying (not as far as I know).

But how do you measure emotional pain? How do you return days and weeks invested in this battle? Can you feel how toxic and how harmful is hate? How many children will be born into this mess and grow up crippled?

What a waste of life, what a waste of energy, what a shame!

Good night everyone! Refuah Shlema RivkA with Capital A, my personal hero!

1 comment:

  1. She is one of mine, too. She reminds me that "attitude is everything." We each get our particularly burdens, "hand-selected by G-d." We cannot choose them; we cannot choose to unload them. We can only choose with how much grace we will bear them. And as RivkA reminds us, the more gracefully we bear them, the better life seems.